And Then There Were Three

I've read a lot of people posting their birth stories online lately and i thought it would be a good idea to do, while its still somewhat fresh in my memory.

Since i was induced, my birth story begins at about 38 weeks.  I go for my weekly visit and get checked.  At 38 weeks i'm about 1 cm dilated and 60-70% effaced.  For those of you who knows me, you know i'm a VERY impatient person so this news helped perk me up and made me realize that the end was in sight.  The midwife who works at my dr's office mentioned that i could be induced if i wanted to, since i was progressing that way anyways.  She knew Ryan had his brothers wedding just days after my due date and this was something that worried me.  I told her i would think about it and let her know the next week, actually having it offered made the whole situation a lot more...real.   A week passes and its dr time again.  Unfortunately, no more progress had been made despite the contractions i had been happening.  They were just Braxton Hicks and weren't at all regular, but dang it I was big and pregnant and ready.  My midwife once again asked if i wanted to be induced.  Not at all pressuring me, just giving me the option.  Still nervous, i decided to think about it and call the office that week if i decided to schedule.

I went home that evening to talk to Ryan about it.  One thing really making me nervous was the NST i had to have after my 38 week appointment. Baby had a very high heart rate at my 38 week appointment and while the NST showed nothing but a perfectly healthy baby, being induced made me worry that I'd be putting him in the danger zone unnecessarily.  I also worried that if something WAS wrong with me, keeping him inside me could harm him.  (Looking back, this was a silly thought.  The dr's would have rushed me over to the hospital if they felt the need to get him out.  He was safe in my womb, where he belonged).  After discussing things with Ryan, we decided that due to the stress i would feel if i went into labor on Ryan's brother's wedding day wasn't worth it.  I called the next day to schedule my induction and set the date for 11-7-11.  Sounded like a good day to me.

The weekend before Jayme was born me and Ryan did the last minute things we needed to like clean the house.  We also treated ourselves to a VERY nice steak dinner at Ruths Chris.  AMAZING.  That weekend went by way to fast.  I grew more and more nervous as the hours passed and reality set in.  Before i knew it, it was 5am Monday morning and my alarm was going off.  I had to wake up, get ready, and go have a baby.

We checked into labor and delivery a little before 6am.  I remember walking through the parking lot, looking at Ryan, and saying "I'm not ready for this".  Alas, i checked in and pushed forward.  They started an IV, which of course made me turn white as a ghost and halfway pass out.  After this i called my mom to see what time she would be there.  She told me around 8 or 9.  I told her to hurry up lol.  I was nervous and while Ryan was a great help, i just wanted my mommy! At 8 AM the dr came in to break my water and they started my pitocin.  Up to this point i had been having contractions that i couldn't feel.  There was no turning back after this, Dr. Gingrich told me that I would be having a baby within 24 hours one way or the other.

The butterflies settled as the contractions set in.  I sat on a birthing ball to get things going (and let me tell you, it worked).  The dr told me I could have an epidural at any point since my water was broken and i wasn't going home.  I labored from 8 am until about 1 pm or so and then decided it was time for the epidural.  I was having contractions that i was REALLY having to concentrate through, but i wasn't to the point that i couldn't sit still.  About an hour later the epidural was in and i could no longer feel anything.  At all.   Sweet relief.  I decided to use this time to try and nap before the real work began.  I was about 5 cm when i got the epidural so i was halfway there.  At about 4:45 PM they had me try a few practice pushes since I was at a 10 and 100% effaced.  My labor nurse said i was doing great and so we kept pushing along......for 2 hours.  2 long and exhausting hours.  At this point the dr came in to discuss other options.  She had my give her a few good pushes through my next contraction to see what kind of progress i had made.  The baby was still pretty high so she thought if i layed on my side and labored for another hour, it may help him descend enough for delivery.

One hour later i was back to pushing.  I pushed through one more contraction and the dr decided this baby wasn't going to come, even with help.  She said it was time for a c-section.  This wasn't exactly something i was excited about.  I always dreamed of that moment when they would lay my sweet new baby on my chest. However, i trusted that my dr knew best so i was prepped for surgery.  I waited for an operating room to open up...and waited and waited and waited.  Finally Ryan was getting suited up and i was being wheeled down.

Once in the operating room they got me nice and numb and got started.  They brought Ryan in and i just remember laying there, teeth chattering, anxiously awaiting the sweetest sound I knew i'd ever hear.  About 10 minutes later, at 9:43 PM James Roland Brauer entered this world.  His cry was the most precious noise i have ever heard, and both me and Ryan cried. All i wanted was to see my sweet boy.  They cleaned him up and swaddled him, then handed him to Daddy.   Ryan sat back down on the stool by my head and I was able to get my eyes on my perfect baby boy before they swept him off to the nursery to be evaluated by a pediatrician.  They got me all sewed up and wheeled me down to recovery.  Once in recovery i asked for my baby over and over.  I some how managed to get my hands on my iPhone and sent Ryan a text for him to send me a picture.  They finally brought him into me, something i barely remember from all the pain meds.  I do remember being in love.  Me, Ryan and James enjoyed some time with all the grandparents before getting some alone time, just the three of us.  While in recovery James was able to nurse and snuggle, one of the sweetest moments i've ever experience.

Its hard to believe this was 3 months ago.  My sweet little baby is still just as sweet, but not so little.  He's becoming very social like his mommy, and he is one curious little boy.  I have never experienced a love like this and my heart over runs with love each and every day.

You Know Your A Mom When.....

I've had the thought "yup, im a mom" run through my mind a lot lately. It seems like over night I went from fun 24 year old to Mom. My whole life has changed. These have been my "I'm a mom now" moments for me lately...

You know your a mom when...
...you dramatically downsize he size of your purse so you have one less thing go carry...or you skip the purse all together and just use the diaper bag.
...when deciding what out fit to wear it's based on what still fits now that you still have baby weight to lose and what isnt covered in milk/spit up/pee/poop/snot etc
...wearing make up means something important is happening that day.
...when people at the grocery store cringe at the annoying screaming baby you cringe because it's your baby...and because people just dont understand-babies cry!
...you function on 2 hours of sleep (wait, you did that in college too)
...you "baby talk" when talking to other adults
...your new best friend is your electric breast pump.  The two of you are attached at the hip, er boob.
...the song stuck in your head is the tune from your child's toy/TV show
...you now refer to a penis as a "wee wee"
...your Google search history has gone from "Concerts/Events in the city" and "Great summer Cocktails" to "how to get a good latch when breastfeeding" and "when do babies get teeth" etc
...you regularly see 3 am for feedings, and i dont mean drunken Steak N Shake runs
...you can relate to at least one of these.

Working Mom, Stay at Home Mom....

I would like to start this post with a disclaimer. I am in no way bashing stay at home moms or working moms. I've gotten to experience being both to an extent, I understand both sides.

Now with that being said....I've been thinking the last few days about which is harder. I was a stay at home mom for the 8 weeks of my maternity leave and i have now been back to work for a week. I think that when I was home I was far more mentally exhausted but now that I'm backup work I'm far more physically exhausted. Don't get me wrong, I love staying home with my son, but I also enjoy the break that work gives me. Plus I live my job and coworkers. More pros of being a working mom are money, making my time with my son more special, and being showered before 5pm. Sone draw backs are brig away from my son, knowing I may miss some of his milestones the first time he does them, and not having control over what happens with him (probably the hardest part for me!)

On the flip side, stay at gone moms get to cuddle their baby all day, watch their child reach their milestones, and take naps (ok well if they are lucky!). However, stayin home means dealing with the cranky baby all day...alone. It means no make up most days and lost of baby talk ( what you mean that's not how adults talk!?).

I could go on and on but at this point it him me....working or not, im a mom. It's a job with long hours, a vast range of skills are required, and it's demanding. There is no monetary cOmpensation, but all those smiles and kisses are enough.

Well, at least God still loves us.....

Ever since me and Ryan bought our house last December we have wanted to find a church home. Once I became pregnant we really felt this was important. Last night we decided to go ahead and try out a new church. The church is a small one called Crosshaven. They meet in a community center that used to be a school so it's an old building. An old echoey building...where sound carries well....uh oh.

We arrive at church and find some seats in the back, you know on case we need to make an emergency exit. The service is about to start and I think "hey I'll get Jayme out of his car seat where he is sleeping peacefully and hold him that way he doesn't wake up half way through and scream bloody murder.". Big mistake, now I have an awake baby who will probably get hungry soon. Service starts with singing-jayme loves it. He let's me him him and rock him while he peacefully listens to me sing (God love him for not screming when he heard that!). Yay! Quiet baby, this will be easy as pie. Now we pray....he coos and talks a little, that's ok it's cute, he just talking to Jesus too. Sermon is starting, he's getting hungry. Ryan goes to warm the bottle then feeds him. He's a loud eater but that's ok. He then needs his diaper changed. Ok No biggie Ryan quietly steps out to do it, he Bowery brings back a whole new baby. He fusses and whines the rest of the time. I try to step out of the room to soothe him and he goes NUTS! he calms down and I go back into the room quietly while everyone sings the closig songs. Of course he's quiet now!

Church ends and I'm only slightly mortified....but hey at least God still loves us!

Unsolicited Mommy Advice

I HATE getting unsolicited advise.  Giving it is something complete different.  I remember when i was pregnant everyone and their mother wanted to tell me how to raise my son, what products to use, how to give a bath, blah blah blah.  I wanted no part of it.  I would cringe when people would try and offer heartfelt advise to help me ease into the transition of motherhood.  How dare them tell me what i need to do, i will raise my son the way i want to!  They couldn't possibly be right....boy was i wrong.  Now I'm not saying EVERYTHING people told me was correct or useful.  I was told i don't need a baby tub because there are cheaper and easier products to use.  Well i'd be lost without my baby tub.   However, i was told not to buy baby clothes ahead of time.  I thought this was ludacris! I thought "i'll buy now, stock up, it'll be fun".  Well, i put my foot in my mouth on that one.  My baby is now 2 months and wearing 0-3 month clothing which is fairly on track, but i easily see that changing.  I hate to admit when i was wrong, but i was wrong.

With all of that being said, i have some advise to offer to you mothers to be out there in the blogosphere.  Yeah, i know i said i hate unsolicited advise but guess what-most of it was true.   So here is my two cents worth:

1. They were right, don't stock up on too many baby clothes in too many different sizes.  You don't know how your baby will grow.  If you must buy a ton of clothes, keep the receipts handy and the tags attached.

2. DO stock up on diapers and wipes! You won't regret not having to make midnight runs to the store because you ran out! However, also keep the receipts for these.  You never know if your little one will pee out of a Pamper or or be allergic to the wipes! Trust me, it happened to me.

3.  Prevent diaper rash! use a little diaper rash cream at diaper changes from the get go.  Diaper rash goes from harmless and pink to gross and painful and sore fast.

4.  Buy pacifier wipes.  I know i know, "i'll just put it in my mouth if it falls on the floor like my mom did" Well if it falls in a pile of dog crap will you still lick it clean for your baby? Didn't think so.  Baby wipes aren't meant to eat, but pacifier wipes are 100% food grade.  Spend the $3 you won't regret it.

5.  "X brand of bottles are the BEST! you have to buy them!" Bull crap.  My son uses non expensive Playtex bottles and loves them.   I tried every bottle under the sun that "prevents colic and gas" and he hated them.  The best bottle for your baby is the bottle your baby likes best.  If you have a certain brand in mind you want to use i suggest using it from the get go.

6.  Really stick to one brand of pacifier.  Chances are your baby will prefer a certain shape or size and you'll waste your money and other peoples money trying to force him to take a paci he hates.

7.  Put on your shower invitations that gift receipts are greatly appreciated.  Its a pain to return stuff without them.

8.  You can't spoil a new born.  Really, you can't.  Their needs and wants are one in the same.  By responding to your crying child you help them develop a sense of trust in their world.  This leads to a healthier, happier, more independent child in the long run. Plus, you'll love knowing mommy made it all better.

9. If you're a control freak (like me!) learn to let it go now.  Nothing goes as planned with a baby no matter how hard you try.  And the harder you try, the more drama you stir.  It doesn't matter if your baby has his first cold and its Christmas and you just want him to lay int he living room of people.  People will hold him, he will get passed around and you can't avoid that.  Smile and deal with it.  And enjoy the baby free time.

10.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  You can't do it all yourself.  Well, you can, but its not easy.  If you try to take it all on yourself you'll lose your mind.  remember, happy mom=happy baby!

Thats all the advise i have.  Take it all with a grain of salt since i know your thinking i'm wrong anyways, it'll make your foot taste a lot better when you're putting it in your mouth later :)